Essay Contest WINNERS and Platform DOWNTIME
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Dear folks,
Two announcements:
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We have a landslide winner for our most recent Interintellect Essay Contest (topic: “What I Learned in 2024”), elected entirely by our community and hosts: Jeremy Pesner, who’s coincidentally also about to co-host the upcoming online salon What Does Spiritual Healing Mean For Our Emotions and Psychology? An Introduction to the Science Behind Ancient Wisdom Applied to Modern Society. Please read Jeremy’s essay below….
Jeremy wins a copy of
’s new book WEIRDLY BRILLIANT.Second place honorary mention:
’s excellent piece Unc's Unlearning Outfit for 2024 — In Which We Unlearn About Dunning-Kruger and the Placebo Effect
WHAT I LEARNED IN 2024
By Jeremy Pesner
Let’s not mince words: my 2024 was terrible. There are kinder, gentler ways to describe my year, but “terrible” is definitely the most accurate. This makes it clear that I’m not simply saying that a few things didn’t go my way, or I didn’t accomplish some of my goals. No – it was terrible, with several things getting worse, almost nothing getting better and, with a lot of effort on my part, many things simply remaining at the status quo (which was not in a great place at the end of 2023).
I’ve been searching for a job – a good job – for two years now. This is embarrassing to write, but that’s the truth. I’ve sent out dozens of applications, tooled and retooled my resume many times over, and submitted for jobs I knew I was a good candidate for only to not even get an interview. I was genuinely shocked about that. A lot of people often broad platitudes and condolences – it’s a tight labor market, you’ll totally get it next time – but none of that helps me to actually improve my prospects. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve lost almost all motivation to even try and apply anymore. I don’t feel I have the will or energy to even bother sending out applications when the end result is always the same. And I wouldn’t even be searching for a job (at least not with this urgency) if my previous boss had been easier to work with. He spent more of his time focused on small details – like whether my Microsoft Teams light was active – than the quality of my work, which was always excellent.
My personal life hasn’t fared much better. I’m at the age where almost all my friends are married and having kids, and I very much am not. I do get a few matches when I swipe on dating apps, but those almost never translate into actual dates, and none of those translate into anything more. I have trouble attracting single women at the events I go to as well – even if I get their number, any text conversation seems to die on the vine. I feel like I’m doing everything I can – I’m friendly, intelligent, crack jokes, ask about them, but also don’t compromise my views or what’s important to me. But every potential opportunity seems to just peter out – no attraction or interest ever seems to last. It’s demoralizing to feel like I’m back in high school, wondering why women never seem to like me.
My other personal relationships have taken a hit as well. A good friend of mine suddenly dropped dead in July, and it took me over a week to find out. Another friend actively decided to cut ties with me, and a third told me that his new wife had decided she didn’t like me (despite meeting me only twice), which now limits when and how we can see each other. This has left me very insecure in my personal relationships, wondering who I will be able to count on as my closest, deepest and most reliable friends. My parents, who have always been my biggest supporters, are frustrated with me. They think I should be doing more to address my issues, while I feel like I’m already doing everything I have capacity for. While our interactions have always had an undertone of frustration and differing points of view, these recent events have made things worse. Neither I nor them seem to have a clear idea of how I can move forward.
Before anyone suggests that these issues have all arisen because I haven’t worked on myself, I’ve done that too. I was in therapy all throughout my childhood, until my mid-20s when I switched to spirituality because just talking about my problems wasn’t yielding any deeper insight. And while I’ve done an immense and intense amount of spiritual healing throughout this year, I find myself still stuck in the same place. In spite of all my reflection, self-judgments, and solicitations of feedback, with people often appearing to feel uncomfortable or distant instead of open and welcoming around me. Even my healer has told me she doesn’t know the deeper issue still plaguing me. I don’t know what to do to set things in a way that will lead to my success.
So what have I learned from 2024? It would be great if I could tie up all these difficulties into a single, straightforward Aesopic lessons I can readily apply to my life to make everything better. Unfortunately, almost none of these experiences have yielded clear, meaningful insights I can learn from, despite constant questioning and examination. So what am I left with? Well, while I have been tempted many times, I can’t give into despair and apathy. My previous healer took his own life, and while I deeply empathize with the circumstances that led him to do so, I know that is not the answer. Underneath all of these heavy setbacks, and the rage, depression and numbness they have caused me, I know there is a lovely guy that is worth being around, hiring, dating and generally having in others’ lives. The only real lesson to take from this is to hold on. To not give up. To believe, without any evidence, that things will get better. Because they have to. No matter how unfair life may become, there’s always got to be a way forward for people who deserve it. I’m not generally a person of faith but I feel it’s important to have faith in this. 2025 has to better for me than 2024. There’s nowhere to go but up.
Visit our community Discord’s Writing Lab channel to read the many other excellent submissions.
Warmly,
x Anna
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I just wanted to say how moving I found Jeremy Pesner’s winning essay. Congratulations on winning Jeremy and thanks for the honesty in the writing. You are not alone!!!
Excellent announcements and intriguing salon topic. I enjoy any presentation or writing that compares contemporary psychology approaches with timeless wisdom, because the former desperately needs the latter. The modern psychotherapy world would do well to integrate classical approaches to healing, given our current obsession with buzzwords like “self care.” How about “self formation?”